“Any reason you’re face-planting the wall?” Jack Daniel’s and Conner out of my house. I wait for the click of the gate before I turn to the wall and rest my forehead against it. He carries Mila upstairs with Bunna and Dolly. I need Conner out of my house so I can climb into bed and wallow in my guilt. Better to myself than out loud, right? No, out loud is a sign of craziness. Now I’m just rambling to myself inside my mind. Damn, I really need to start organizing this house a little.Ī laundry hamper in the dining room. I hand Conner her jammies and a diaper and take her dirty clothes and put them in the hamper in the corner of the room. I bang my head against the wall before I grab the pajamas and go back downstairs. Hey, I kept your baby from you, but it’s totally okay because you still sing her to sleep every night. Wishing I could take the CD out of the player because now it seems so damn stupid. “I’ll get her some pajamas.” I turn and go upstairs to her room, checking she has everything in here. I let us in through the back and Conner unstraps Mila. I hate the dark.Īfter several minutes we end up at my yard and I dig for my key. It was hard work before, and now it’s getting dark. I trudge along behind him, and I’m secretly thankful he pushed her. I’ll save it for later instead.īecause there’s bound to be a later, and if not, there’ll be a sooner. I take a deep breath and let go of the stroller, letting him take control.
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